Friday, April 3, 2009

A tribute

Curiosity actually bears something else - sometimes
I now smoke more than twice of amount of cigarettes I did before, and have been spending too much money in it. Aside from food and transportation, Yosi is included in my poor weekly budget and diet LOL. I have to consider 2 packs in 5days, the one that I smoke outdoor and in weekends are exempted.
This bothers me so much, I’m so worried for my very young lungs, and he just doesn’t deserve this. But on the other hand, I don’t have any plans to stop this addictive kind of thing. But well, actually I have, maybe after 5 more years.

I got to thinking about the main figures and incidents in my life that has influenced my addictive social being. And the most central figure of all is my family background. All of the immediate family members where I belong to is smoking, but I guess not as much as I do now. I’ve seen them when I was younger, though they say it was bad, I thought it wasn’t that bad to try it once if i like anyway.

Until one day a new found young yaya is in for service to take care for a 8 year old girl, too bad for this girl who got his first smoke when she was just about grade1. Since we have a small store in our house that time, I have tasted all the local brands of cigarettes, I know all the differences –menthol, blue seal , cheap to awful. It is somehow a good thing to do if your young mind is curious and you want to kill time when there is no one left at the room except you.

After that I haven’t remembered anything that makes my mind stimulated by a more curiosity. Until 4th grade, I won’t forget the moment that eight of my closest friends got into the silliest idea that a grade 4 brat could had - to try smoking inside our campus. we actually don’t mind that we have to consider that we’re in a catholic school and basically nuns are the main authority in that school. Until we were caught.

It was like a unpublished headline in our school, we are the 2nd one in entire school having this case; 1st as girls; 1st as elementary, since then every smoking cases had just followed actually. Aside from guidance counselors, school’s discipline coordinator and intermediate teacher’s faculty, I don’t know how the hell happened that the news got through the walls of high school department. Well of course I’m in the right mind now to suspect the possibility that it was via our own “teachers”. Funny huh? I guess they were so outrageously shocked-- So shocked until they don’t even care for the publicity for morality of the student behind the headline, and so shocked-- that they cannot even shut their mouth.

However, the whole process of the incident had triggered my childhood so much. I remembered the eight of us, spending regular school hours everyday in the guidance counselor or discipline officer’s office since the day it has happened; Begging not to advise additional provisions about the said tragedy in life of these little girls to their parents. We can’t barely imagine, how the HELL we’ll gonna say this kind of F*CKED-UP case to our guardians!

These girls had been probated for the 1st year of their intermediate level, and it was like we were sentenced for our whole life in that school. We were somehow famous in disguise. But in that time smoking didn't came to the point that it already became my vice. And I would not forget the idea of how the eight of us use to be much more closer and observe unity in the process. Like, “what we’ll gonna do?”, “what we’ll gonna say?”, “How we gonna act?” – “hey, we should cry while begging, like we’re gonna die because It doesn’t have to be that way”. Poor minds, not thinking that it has been finished already the moment it started to be known by the public.

Each of us got suspended for two days after the final exams LOL. Our parents advised us not to be with each other AGAIN OF COURSE – Though there were still a number who is still nice to decide that she should obey her guardian, but we have been through, some of us STILL spending time in playing kids games, recess, lunch and dismissal OF COURSE . The former eight is subtracted in a lesser number meaning each had to accept that not everyone of us is strong enough to believe in the fact that "individuality is still OVERPOWERING than the spirit of bad influence."

That’s the time that I finally found my way around my mind and tracks me down to consciousness leading about true friendship. Since then, It influenced me so well and I can say that it is one of the great contributor in my well being, that aside from immediate family and relatives, it has another phase called true friends.

True friends are more than similarities it is closely composed of individuality, character, loyalty, and time spent. And I’ll tell you a fact that: if some friends is easy to attain so it is not as valuable as compare to the ones you have hardships through.

After graduating in 6th grade i already tried every single imported cigars available in the market on that time, time had passed since then just like friends, some had gone and some had just passed,
but definitely there will be much better who will come - someone who is more deserved to be acquired. And is worth your trust by the new character or uniqueness and unconditional loyalty they use to contribute for building a tighter bond.
And i'm happy to say that this little girls who come and goes seems to be my closest friends until in this moment of time. But well, i guess it will take another story :)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Trying hard to update

Its been more than a month I think since my last post. Its crazy, the last post I made is like I’m devastated in things happening around me. But the month that had passed is a different story, well not that perfect but it is all worth it. Because I don’t have a failing grade! Weee! looks like my secret skills is somehow effective but I don’t want to live the following semesters that way again, so wasted.
Everything is weird since the day I checked my grades online, I’ve been thinking that my grades are higher compared to the last semester. I am so lucky! Not to mention that I was victimized by pickpockets in morayta for the first time, it took away my 200 pesos and 2 usb, Nothing big time! Still, lucky that my newer phone is still with me.
I was already enrolled for the summer class. Three subjects, an extension for the sophomore year. Not that excited unlike before, all the block section happens to have a start of classes in 7:30am. This is a PROBLEM. Seriously, waking up early in the morning is soooo hard for me. How will I do this? I cant do this every single WEEKDAYS!!
Main reason that I don’t have any updates is that my pc needs a reformat -virus as usual. And it takes time before my mom let me to bring this to be repaired and to shoulder in paying the prescripted bill. I had spent almost 10 days doing nothing such as reading, eating, sleeping; Going out happens to be not include in my plans. I don’t know why, its feels like I need to be recharged: be away from crowds, pollution, whatever.
I haven’t enjoyed reading that much- this time, maybe because it’s about tech commandos soldiers, in their prestigious CADS suite, a super high tech suite that is black about 7ft. tall, 200kg in weight.The whole book goes around about World War II and that's all. Nothing interesting except for the intricate names of the guns and machines that they're using and when their captain decided to demolished the Disney Land. I don’t even know why I buy this book. Maybe because of its cover, the colorful front don’t necessarily relate in its violent content. Anyway, I finished it. Not getting my expectations for the ending.