stability

On times like this when everything is stable, it gives me comfort and makes me feel very thankful. Though I wasn’t the very best student that I can be, I’m achieving more and acquire skills as time goes by; as I will be prepared and  feel that my plans for the future, is reserved for me like no need to hurry.

On the other hand, when everything is going well in the present time, you gather more and more excitement to get things done and wait for the next one. Wanting to fasten things up doesn’t always mean you’re not proud of what you have right now.

critics

The word “critic” in my first impression says, that it is a person who exerts the ability of expertise unto something the other one had done. A help for you to be able you to improve especially if you aim your work to be the best, so when you say help I assume that you’ll be overwhelmed with that. Well, that is my own  first impression of definition. I didn’t say that I got it from merriam webster.

And when I hear the word expertise it is a characteristic of someone who’s professional. Right? As the “defining of term goes” I guess the next word is judgement – which is every people in the world is capable in providing you this.

Try to look around, steal a moment while walking on a busy crowd. I do it when I am not running late, the perfect place I always into – Recto, Manila. Vendors, jeepney/ bus drivers, sales ladies, students from different schools, professors, beggars, uhm the “faker” peeps who greets you hi or good morning as you walk by, etc. Every single person on that place has their own agenda believe me. I cannot identify those holdapers and snatchers by the way they look or how they look. All I know is that no one will just simply go there and do sight-seeing.

As I walk almost everyday on that place, though you know they should be busy for something, some will look (just a glance), or maybe stare, will try to catch your attention with no reason at all, smiles, ask, bump purposely, greet, sell, etc. whatever it may be, negative or not, for sure; they saw you, you are there,  proof that you are existing, NOTICING something about you - may be bad or not.

But me, I don’t care. especially if it is negative. Everybody knows that the world is your critic. No one is perfect. Even me and you- we both “judge” the other one anytime we want.

crush

The first time I saw him hadn’t ring a bell, he's like a normal typical guy you will pass by in a street every morning.

Not until when I already had the first chance to look at him closely, a look that is more than just a glance. I was so busy then, many things that is pending to entertain. I’m not so sure if he’s handsome, but I’m positive he wouldn’t make my head turned on a normal day, cliche, why I was attracted in a blink of an eye, I’m not like this.

One Thursday afternoon he approached me, asked who I am. There’s something about his round eyes I can’t explain.  It’s not red, blue or green, but I’m pretty sure it is deep.

While he was talking, I’m not listening. “He has an accent” I said to myself, he obviously came from NOT a nearby place. I find myself looking at his shoulders, arms and breast under his smooth-well ironed-white long sleeves, “looks perfect”, said to myself. I’m not listening, but I’m hearing him, “a humored man” I observed. He laughs easily, and smiles sincerely.

Not a matinee idol or hardcore look, a flat-well-groomed-slight-curly hair, not even tall, gifted with a white-smooth-fair skin that compliments well on his white uniform and round face. But I think, he looks like there is something much more about him. Hoping, i'll have a chance to know him more.

That night I go home thinking about him. I wonder who he is. I’m not even sure, "did I also ask his name back?".

The following afternoon we met again, it’s obvious he’s friends with everybody around the place. Every time he smiles, he really looked so happy. I wonder if he really is, since his eyes and ears also smiles together with his lips.

He passes by, I got his smell, it’s not about the perfume, i'm not particular with someone else's smell, I don’t know, but, it was just right. Not too strong, enough for me to chase his smell. I’m sure I don’t mind he will always be beside me.

I’ve tried to ask basic personal questions. I don’t know and care if he’s single or not, it’s weird why I only wonder if he’s a decent man? For whatever reason, I shouldn’t be very obvious that I was liking someone here. Not especially for him to know, and especially not on this, on my "not typical" reason. So I’m doing double time not to be noticed. I’m treating him just like everyone else. 

Few days passed by, I was right, he’s very funny and friends with everybody, everything I thought of about him is right. He can make me laugh effortlessly. I caught myself smiling every time he talks to me. Funny, I’m still not paying attention to what he was saying, I’m busy staring at him every time he talks to me, while not making it obvious.

Then I found the reason why I easily got committed nowadays on something I should, it’s unusual that was fast. Now that I see him for almost every day, I think I got a new reasons to comply for something I should be responsible about.

This is until he’s not yet leaving.

the working culture

My plan for at least 3 posts a week wasn’t done, even reading the listed books I planned to read within this year is a failure. I never imagined what a busy person truly was, not until in this moment of time.

I had posted several weeks ago that I’m on my ojt. I was accepted on the said hotel, and I have no idea this is so serious. I won’t mention the hotel’s name, I don’t know why, I just can’t believe that practicumers there do the same thing just like the regular employees, but in my part? No pay.

Imagine 8 hrs every day except one day off every week. Standing for the whole straight hours while providing full service to guests in different races in a full poise and grooming in heels. I’m not into physical stress which is understood, but my feet really can’t stand it. It is possible my muscles on my feet will develop sprain in the future just because of too much standing.

Apparently, this is my target department to get the actual training. It is rare to be in the department that you choose. So I consider myself lucky, but then there’s a price to pay hahaha, and that is to do the regular job with no pay. Haha.

I maybe into a working shock, it’s the first time I work, even if I’m getting through this hard which is I call the “adjustment”, I always make sure that I do everything to the best that I can, like finding what to do when you’re doing nothing. I just can’t deal the long hours! (I say it again) my feet really - KILLS ME!

But since I’m a practicumer, i really stop exactly when 8 hrs is over, and i'm not afraid to ask and commit mistake. Not like the casual employees that extends everytime it is busy. Well, why would i? I just can’t believe how casual employees stand it. It will take them years to be regular, still, doing the same job, only with a minimum salary. Then the management call that hotel a 5 star, what’s the difference to those who are working in 3 star? (less responsibility, but same pay?) That’s why my heads up to casual employees to that hotel.

I observed that in every department there were more casual employees than regulars. I don’t get it! They belong to the same manpower. So it’s not surprising some of the employees will decide unto applying somewhere else. How would the management retain its workers for the same system of promotion? I’m sorry to say but honestly, It’s not competitive.

Too bad, the majority of casual employees that I met are loyal, and I can say the dedication and hard work is very obvious. Though it’s slightly unfair, they don’t care and still do the job in the best way that they can even if they realize there were a whole lot more opportunity outside with that background. That hotel, I can say, is very blessed with their casual employees alone. But then of course, it’s possible not to retain them for more than half a decade.

After all, my concern is to learn more about the job. I don’t care what ever the problem is. Only the stability of my feet (I’ve said it again) to comply properly in their working hours.

with smile

Let your haters be disarmed by the gentleness of your manner, but at the same time, let them feel the steadiness of their own resentment - that's what is bugging them best.