New Year 2013

These were some of the thoughts that I remember I had during the span of 2012. It can be from a prayer, conversations, realizations or maybe anything I just heard somewhere that agrees with my own reason.  

And all of these, can always remind me that at some point: 

I had precisely known myself better. 

I can be aware on how others could possibly feel by avoiding something I have experienced before.

I can be stronger and empowered on my own.

• Progress basically starts with the cultivation of your own backbone.
• As long as I can walk on my own I could possibly go wherever I like.
• Explaining why you’re right, doesn’t mean you have to argue; and if you argue doesn't mean it will end up right.

• "Cut the BS and get to the damn point.", "Too much introduction"
• We’re human, anyone can be mean, liar, insensitive. But I'm not one of those who feels the need to be proud of it.
• The need to finalize the end of a bad relationship isn't necessary.

• The worst thing you can do to someone you barely even know is to underestimate their motivations.
• Sucks bigtime when you best believe you thought you've found something worth it.
• Bless me with discomfort so that I shall continue to aspire to higher places.

• Nothing ticks me off more than someone who thinks they are more important than everyone else. (and makes me think I'm reasonable enough to make the move to that person, to give back what everybody had felt from him/her... combined)
• I can ignore you so hard you will begin to doubt your own existence.
• Half the time I agree with people so they'll shut up.
• I’m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand. And I do understand everyone has the same birth right.

• Can't you see? I warned you. If you take my advice rightly, it's not my gain. taking it wrong isn't my lost either but.. finding it out by yourself is the price to pay.
• Give me your heart make it real or else forget about it. (Smooth - Santana, Rob Thomas) 

• A ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for.  - John A. Shedd, Salt from My Attic  
• Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must be first overcome. -  Samuel Johnson, Rasselas, 1759

hi there twenty ten

New year's resolution seems to be a habit and not a principle anymore. Usually, it comes to consciousness after the day of Christmas. In my case, it never comes to my mind in any day of the year; setting out plan something like "New Year's Resolution" i perceive it as too impractical, since i'm one of the breed of persons that things doesn't usually come out according to own plans - I'd rather not to keep anything! I know it wont be something that i can keep for the entire year; something i will give up in every moment of possession. And just like any other regular day, new year's eve will just pass by. Tell me if i'm wrong! That's a fact!

As i woke up this morning i am wondering why i have this kind of energy to have my way around my mind about this matter (Resolution) "it's too many days early for that" i thought. But then i can't stop. There were so many things i have to fix for myself, especially those that have negative impacts on me as a human being. Then i thought again "i cant keep a promise, even to myself", except to one: "just forget about it, let things go on its way". Letting fate go on my way and not contradicting it is actually my yearly plan. Ask me "why??" the answer is "it is easy".

But i feel like this year (2009) is too rewarding. It needs some appreciation of honor, haha.

1. First, is the worst cases of problems that would possibly come hasn't come. And i am very thankful for that, this is something that i had already experienced in the previous years and i don't want it to be repeated - i don't want any of those that means a lot to me; those that i give so much value to be at matter of life stake - Family. No one got sick, no one got hurt.
2. Second, is not failing in my priority which is studies. Together with all the vices and savoring the most lazy time you can ever feel with no reason, always late and not always present, too much procrastination, loves to sleep, having hard time waking up early in the morning and lacked in resources together with no patience is something that i describe myself as a student. That is why i'm so happy i have no any back subjects surviving in my 3rd year, who still remains as a regular student. 
3. Last things are not the least:

• For new friends who had come; friends who still stayed the same; friends who built a tighter bond; friends who came back and friends who had shared a different breed of individuality.

• People who come and go; people whom i shared a little moment; people who just recognize me and people who i just know.

There are so many of them in different cases. But every each of them, good or bad, had something to do with me of who i am now. I'm the type who learned so much being with other people - the reason why i love true people, the worst ones may be the better. They never fails to amuse me, i always find them interesting and made me so determine in knowing them about certainty.

• Things i haven't tried before like trying to be in less control. I'm pointing out to the instances i am very aware or avoiding before. (I don't want to be specific in this)

Things I have set myself to be in caution a long time ago, because i know in the end it will hurt. But still, i give it a chance. In the end i failed, and learned seeing my self to be done and get through. This had big contribution in knowing myself better.. than ever! I am very grateful for the whole process. Afterall, it wasn't harder than i thought. I even want to make it better for the next-lucky one. Haha

• Learnings that can only be gain by experience.
  

I found out there is always a problem that you are clueless that it will come, it came with you making you no idea until you found out that there is always a reason behind and you just don't know particularly what is the point. You cannot find it before or even while it is ongoing. Just when after you totally overcome - you can even overlook it beyond, only; when everything has ended.

Everything that i have mentioned above is something that is out of control. But then, i have gained it. Truly, it was something i am so thankful. This were the things if i am not aware, i wont be able to recognize.

To recompense, my plan wasn't something like to stop smoking, drinking or going out. My personal luxury will still continue, in fact, i'll add some, like:

• Read more books (by trying some authors)
• Go out more with friends (except for the 1st quarter of the year)
• Invest more on books (so that i can refrain in buying food in QSR's)
• Try to apply for part time job (if i'll be lucky)
• Cooperation in group matters (whatever groups)
• Listen more to other genre
• Save some money (coins) lol
• and, Quit resentment to anyone ^^

That were some. After all, year 2009 is something to be important for everyone. There were good and bad things had come,overcome and ended.But for me, there is no turning back.