the pledge of being done with it

Ever did jumping into something your first impression says to you it won’t ever last. That is what I traditionally do. No usual conversation, no demonstration of feelings, none conclusive evidence of what is the reason behind things that is done that should have a definite valid reason. Though I know that one; is a definition of a perfect stranger; with a manifesto you know in the first place you shouldn’t trust, and since I’m a very hard headed being (probably the reason why some people hated me), it’s the same reason why I stayed.

    The whole process is purely wondering, as it goes along, the unreasonable thoughts for the “goddamn thing why I’m still here” is just adding piles up. Only just for the benefit of spending time together, I know I was treated well; but I feel no concern, THAT was two different things.

The above statement was written for like “several” months ago. And to be honest, I’m not actually pertaining only to one person. It’s incredibly repeating by itself in different “instances”. I’m thinking for few persons that just happen I’ve been with them. Each of the instances are entirely different, name it: age, physique, the way they dress, the genre of music they prefer, the way they think, the food they eat, work, etcetera! Just name it!

They’re exactly different in everything, except for one: That word I don’t even want to mention. Only few people in my age have it and only few are willing for it.

Whatever that word is.. I have to work for it. Because I won't acquire anything like the childish game i wrote several months ago. Though it should mean nothing, I now found myself so bored for the wondering part. Things in that immature state are getting so predictable, in different situations but all clearly comes to end.

http://twitter.com/donabunch

A blessed rainy days to us guys! (haha) since I have unknowingly habit of deactivating facebook every now and then; Though I’ve been a little hesitant before about it, I found out that twitter is better suited for me. For now!  I’m active to it :) see you there!  

@donabunch

,

LTMFH

Letter to my future husband


Dear husband,


Before everything else, I just wanted to make it clear, this is NOT a love letter! I want you to know this has been written not less than 6 and a half years ago. The wedding has been (maybe) 2 days ago, and this is my gift. Well, we both know I’m very generous.

You must have been one of kind? That means I never did let you go and vice-versa. We had reached this day it’s an achievement for me and you. To this moment my happiness can’t easily be described. Because for the first time in my life, I fought for someone and I didn’t let that one go.

Let go -  It happened many times before (so tiring) especially when they did demanded it for themselves (I’m not sure and I don’t care, don’t stare at me like that - I’m innocent!). All I know is that I never did stop someone from separating themselves. Maybe once or twice to get out of guilt, but i fought myself for you.

And somehow proud to say, that I always find myself good at a state of being independent. I'm sorry if I lend you and didn't put up a fight back with your third party who just like you too much. It doesn't mean he likes you more than I do! It's just too classy for me.

I might be too hard to handle, to the fact that I can’t even handle myself sometimes lol. I have the every perfect specimen for you to give up. That’s why I’m pretty sure, in surviving until this day? Wow. You, really are, one of a kind. No wonder I never did let myself to lose you.

As for credit to one of my few favorite RnB song Anonymous by Bobby Valentino (heard the first part?) and also: “why are you so hard to find? All I know is that we’d be the perfect match” – From now on, it wasn’t one of my favorite songs anymore, because I already found you and I already did make sure, we’re the perfect match.

You had probably mastered my mood swings, which is very constant. Well, explaining myself about it is a little bit complicated for me. And if I did try, maybe it will take the next 72 hours. But I am glad you already listened to Hot n’ Cold by Katy Perry, I’m a Bitch I’m a Lover by Alanis Morisette and Every Other Time by LFO. That would be easier for me and we'll save a lot of time.

I’m not expecting you to be a fast earning-rich guy.. My only concern is that you’re a real grown-up man. Well, not every adult by means of higher numbers of age are real mature (you know that’s a fact!). Trust me, I know. It never worked out with a person whose in the same childish-playing-safe pole I’m at.

Now we’re living together. My only concern is you know, I didn’t came from a prominent-rich genetics. But I don’t do house chores, I never and will never be fond of it. So the deal is, I will let you to be MY BOSS in the house being responsible for it and I’ll be the one making money. Ok? I seriously hope you don’t mind. What?! Don’t look at me like that!! Because, I’m currently working so hard to pay housekeeping and room service and that!! goddamn penthouse window you’re leaning at!
 
I'm carping. That’s the most hating attitude of me everytime we had an argument. I know it’s bad especially when it manifests! And probably one of the reason why you had to give up for so many times before. I know... some, actually, oh well, countless! Not even made it half way.

Now, congratulations to you! Because your reward is to have your wife (that’s me!) which means you have grown being a stronger man, totally ready for challenges in tolerating the “carping” for the rest of your life. Your prize? right after the wedding I finally decided to try my best to lessen it for you. (smiles)

After everything we have been through, I don’t know why you stayed. There must have been some reasons. All I know is, I’m a not a bad person just like what I described myself intentionally to you in our first to five date; Though, I admit, at some point I had proved it and crossed the lines.

I really don’t mean to do or say any forms of cruelty to you. I’ve gone so out of control and exaggerated. Sometimes I really just found myself establishing it every time I feel threatened in real feelings arising in me. Because all I’ve been praying for is to have someone who can accept me no matter who I am, because I guarantee it will be reciprocated.

We did it. Your honesty, trust and patience had always been the key. You had saved me from my myself. And I can never thank you enough for that.


Till next letter.



Sincerely yours,
D

don’t read

WARNING: this has been written not meant for you to understand.

In a starry night when shooting stars are falling across in different directions ensembles a dancing lights that is perfectly visible on a plain black night, matches a loud noise of pure combined sounds. Venus witnessed it, and everyone had come to see it.

Under a black night, It is where you’ll find Mars - came along with the usual objective to make an impact where Venus is circling in the dark orbit.

• Venus ask the sun “how will some Venus-like can identify a pure mars with a usual objective”
• Sun answers, “a symbol hanging on the neck” pointing to one who just arrived to watch the falling stars and dance with it.

Venus saw one mars carrying a heavy-duty metal chain and a pendant of an odd symbol on his neck. And “that one is just an example” said Sun. “definitely many of them around here”.
“That is bizarre, what in the heavens is it? They don’t need to carry heavy objects on their necks while stargazing! ” Venus sounds so mystified.
“It is meant to be bizarre, and aims for you to ask for it – which is, you just did” sun sounding so bored.“Perhaps, you should ask mars the exact thing”.

Venus come over to the first mars she saw, she was surprised he’s not the only mars who’s carrying a heavy metal pendants, mars is with friends.

• “That’s weird” Venus pointing to the heavy-duty metal on Mars’ neck.
• “Oh it is? Actually, It isn’t. I am Mars by the way”
• “Huh?? Oh.. I know. I’m Venus all the way. I’m quite familiar you love orbiting on this place”
• “It’s my first time going here actually” said mars
• “Oh what makes you come for the first time here? not to mention stargazing, you obviously love stars because you have a star-partnered-outfit - a star logo on your shirt, star shaped ring on your finger and earring that compliments well on the pendant of a perfect star. That must be a set of outfit!” Venus brags.
• Sun: “ Yeah I got it in a local mall for a set in sale!-just kidding! Hey! You make it sounds like I’m gay. Well, the truth is, it is more than just a star at night” explained Mars
• Venus: “Then what is it? It looked so heavy on you, you might have been so hard on yourself”
• “it’s a necklace, symbolizes our brotherhood” Mars pointing to his other four companion.
• Venus: “That was quite literal, do the 5 pointed tips of the star symbolizing each of you?”
• Mars: “YES”
• Venus: “hahahaha now that is gay”
• Mars looking so frustrated about Venus laughing at his face.
• Venus: hey I don’t mean to.. uhmm. Laugh. I’m just happy I met someone like you tonight. (she’s lying)
• Mars: really? (well, that was easy) he thought!

The truth is, Venus know she have to make the effort in continuing the stupid conversation about a pathetic pendant of this man “it is what it is meant for” reminding herself. She wanted answers, She wanted to know how it usually goes. And thinks she’s getting less than what she expected. “This guy doesn’t really know how the river goes”.
 

Sun goes to her back “I know what you’re thinking! yeah I guess he’s just new, definitely practicing”

“Oh” exclaimed Venus sounding not so surprise. “Why are they doing this?” she asked.
Sun: lack of belief on oneself? Because seriously, who does this?
Venus: I get it, but, why like this? They can be friendly in a natural way.

Sun: Maybe Mars isn’t always what you have thought them to be. You’re the one who will show them the way. They’re always on the orbit of being safe.

Venus: I’m trying to understand. But on what they’re doing? They thoroughly block even the real ones.

Sun “This mars are good in what they do, the stronger they are as they seem to be, the higher effort they execute to establish it.”

Venus: poor mars’ of the world. They are meant for guidance. They are deceived, in believing it’s easier in the way they know, and believing they’re the one who fool us. But the truth is, everything they have thought they achieved is until just then, nothing more.
Sun: yeah, they’re the only one who will always be fooled.

And that’s the reason why Venus had more reasons why she should continue the pointless conversation with mars, because of pity, guilt –“they’re all twisted” – on the other way round, that is actually never enough reason for her to be there with mars permanently. Venus’ there, well, only at least for now.

Galaxy is getting wider as it gets old. To have the untwisted one, will take you another planet to another planet in understanding what wasting time to countless planets is for. Establishing deception is a perfect blend for multiple failed of connections, At least it will be fair that one lifetime is more than enough to master it. And when you do identify what’s wrong, to the next one, you’ll have it.

As for Mars and Venus there are so many of them in the same upside-down. The truth is, they are always hoping that there comes a time they will find the planet that wasn’t just a perfect fool similar to both of them.