LTMFH

Letter to my future husband


Dear husband,


Before everything else, I just wanted to make it clear, this is NOT a love letter! I want you to know this has been written not less than 6 and a half years ago. The wedding has been (maybe) 2 days ago, and this is my gift. Well, we both know I’m very generous.

You must have been one of kind? That means I never did let you go and vice-versa. We had reached this day it’s an achievement for me and you. To this moment my happiness can’t easily be described. Because for the first time in my life, I fought for someone and I didn’t let that one go.

Let go -  It happened many times before (so tiring) especially when they did demanded it for themselves (I’m not sure and I don’t care, don’t stare at me like that - I’m innocent!). All I know is that I never did stop someone from separating themselves. Maybe once or twice to get out of guilt, but i fought myself for you.

And somehow proud to say, that I always find myself good at a state of being independent. I'm sorry if I lend you and didn't put up a fight back with your third party who just like you too much. It doesn't mean he likes you more than I do! It's just too classy for me.

I might be too hard to handle, to the fact that I can’t even handle myself sometimes lol. I have the every perfect specimen for you to give up. That’s why I’m pretty sure, in surviving until this day? Wow. You, really are, one of a kind. No wonder I never did let myself to lose you.

As for credit to one of my few favorite RnB song Anonymous by Bobby Valentino (heard the first part?) and also: “why are you so hard to find? All I know is that we’d be the perfect match” – From now on, it wasn’t one of my favorite songs anymore, because I already found you and I already did make sure, we’re the perfect match.

You had probably mastered my mood swings, which is very constant. Well, explaining myself about it is a little bit complicated for me. And if I did try, maybe it will take the next 72 hours. But I am glad you already listened to Hot n’ Cold by Katy Perry, I’m a Bitch I’m a Lover by Alanis Morisette and Every Other Time by LFO. That would be easier for me and we'll save a lot of time.

I’m not expecting you to be a fast earning-rich guy.. My only concern is that you’re a real grown-up man. Well, not every adult by means of higher numbers of age are real mature (you know that’s a fact!). Trust me, I know. It never worked out with a person whose in the same childish-playing-safe pole I’m at.

Now we’re living together. My only concern is you know, I didn’t came from a prominent-rich genetics. But I don’t do house chores, I never and will never be fond of it. So the deal is, I will let you to be MY BOSS in the house being responsible for it and I’ll be the one making money. Ok? I seriously hope you don’t mind. What?! Don’t look at me like that!! Because, I’m currently working so hard to pay housekeeping and room service and that!! goddamn penthouse window you’re leaning at!
 
I'm carping. That’s the most hating attitude of me everytime we had an argument. I know it’s bad especially when it manifests! And probably one of the reason why you had to give up for so many times before. I know... some, actually, oh well, countless! Not even made it half way.

Now, congratulations to you! Because your reward is to have your wife (that’s me!) which means you have grown being a stronger man, totally ready for challenges in tolerating the “carping” for the rest of your life. Your prize? right after the wedding I finally decided to try my best to lessen it for you. (smiles)

After everything we have been through, I don’t know why you stayed. There must have been some reasons. All I know is, I’m a not a bad person just like what I described myself intentionally to you in our first to five date; Though, I admit, at some point I had proved it and crossed the lines.

I really don’t mean to do or say any forms of cruelty to you. I’ve gone so out of control and exaggerated. Sometimes I really just found myself establishing it every time I feel threatened in real feelings arising in me. Because all I’ve been praying for is to have someone who can accept me no matter who I am, because I guarantee it will be reciprocated.

We did it. Your honesty, trust and patience had always been the key. You had saved me from my myself. And I can never thank you enough for that.


Till next letter.



Sincerely yours,
D