best christmas gift everyone can give

"Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect." 
Oren Arnold

respectfully yours

I had once overheard a conversation with my mom and an old man of which is a close family friend of ours; that had made my way in my own perception about respect, and finally was expressed in the right words.

We were in a private hospital room, together with his family. We visited him as he is really sick and the doctor already had set the time. The old man is well known being accomplished, the kind of old man you’ll know, who’s living in his finest providing only the best to his family and grandchildren.

I don’t usually listen to my mom’s conversations but this one I can’t help but notice, that despite the situation of physical sickness, the cheery sound in his voice is alive. He’s telling stories about his life he had lived. The rhythm of story-telling isn’t bragging but proud, glorious but not much of self-admiring, comical and at the same time with sense.

When everyone in the room is in the midst of laughing, he paused for awhile glance to everyone’s face, and took a deep breath. Then he said:

(1)“expecting respect from other people shouldn't be in an instant, just like an investment in business. You don’t just walk in a room as the manager or owner and then expect everyone to honor you.” (2)“you plant goodness in people, just like a seed: you have to work for it by planting it to your fellowmen, and when that seed grows into a plant, that’s when you get REAL respect”

His words made me promptly think deep. Not because I don’t understand but because I instantly do. The exact statement had answered all the traces of my confusions before, my difference that I noticed from most people of my age. The confusion that had led me to guilt and once made me felt like disrespectful ever since I was a growing teenage kid. (But don’t judge me yet, I’m always polite, it’s just that respect is another thing.)

The seed or goodness he’s talking about ISN’T FULLY about:

Food for those who are starving.

House to those doesn’t have shelter.

Any kind of support to our elders.

In short;

Charity to those in need. or;

Specialized expertise ahead to others.

But It can also mean providing and giving the following:

Trust for a business partner.

Encouragement for a close friend.

Inspiration or hope for the future to those who lacks it.

Honesty to your kids, partner and parents.

Time to those people who matters to you.

And all things mentioned in vice-versa.

If the seed grew healthily and had appreciated your goodwill, It will give fruits and shiny green leaves, the effort you had planted will be reciprocated.

In a simpler point of view from mine, respect is like love you have to give and take:

A teacher who believes in finding the potential in his/her students.

Parents who gives unconditional love and understanding to their kids.

A husband who loves his wife through better and for worst.

An employer who gives much generosity to its employees.

A priest who takes time finding out how to deliver effectively the word of God in his next sermon.

So you see? You don’t just be like do your work for the best for yourself ONLY, and at the end of your success, expect everyone to respect you. You’ll get politeness maybe, which is part of good manners, but not the kind of politeness which is still effective behind your back. In order to be respected it’s either you have to give it first, or give it back.

The old man died in the most luxurious room in one of the best hospital in the country. His wake took place in the most expensive chapel in the metro, his coffin bought from a signatured funeral home and is buried in a well architectured tomb. The family and friends he had left behind generously made the end of his life making sure that he will get only the best and the finest.

If people just knew this, they won’t be surprised why there were some who’s not acting accordingly they can't explain; WHEN does it truly matter and to WHOM it is not. And if people just truly understood this, they won’t be surprised why they can only provide politeness and nothing more in front of some certain persons or authority they've met.

hope

Today i write to proclaim and remind myself in the future about self-worth and self-respect. I know i haven’t started anything real yet since i graduated. Everybody is moving on, i’m willing too but maybe, for awhile, just this instance, life is giving a lesson for me and God wants me to work harder.

It’s not like I didn’t do anything at all from the last 19 months, I gave all of my efforts to start right though a lot of my plans had changed a lot. Not because I change my mind many times but because that’s what the circumstances obviously wants me to do.  I did my best in everything I do, but I’m young, fresh, and always have a very positive hope, that’s why maybe I still have a lot to learn.

I didn’t ask for something more than I can do. All I ask is the right start. Enough for me to go somewhere in life someday, a good start that can boost my hope even more about reaching one’s maximum potential.

I feel like crying now. But I promised myself the last time that I won’t cry for the same reason again. I have to let it all out as keeping it might poison my soul. I just thought the other day, this major trial had happened before, and then I truly ended up what is best for me.

This might be my place for today and it will end today, my motivations, hope and my faith in God is still the same and all of this are actually just getting better. This is a letter for myself in the future, of how faith and hope ended up for me.

Grace Kelly

As December 2012 hits, I’ve been contemplating on how I should start the new year right. Part of it is to be a real mature woman and leave some things behind that had given me traces of slight opposes to responsibilities.

This post of mine is a tribute to one of my inspiration. Epitome of elegance, class and sophistication. For me, she’s a woman with a beauty and charm I can’t compare to others.

Grace Kelly

Born in Philadelphia in 1929, raised Catholic, Grace Kelly became a popular actress in the 1950’s starring in movies such as Dial M for Murder, To Catch a Thief and The Swan. After marrying Prince Rainier III of Monaco on April 19, 1956, in a very public and ornate ceremony, at this point Kelly was one of the highest paid and most respected actresses in the world. Kelly abandoned her acting career in order to become Princess Consort of Monaco. She became very involved in many cultural and charitable organizations over the course of her life. http://www.biography.com/

Due to my slight fascination in classic movies, the first time I saw her is on her movie To Catch A Thief (1955)

with actor Cary Grant

wearing the famous "To Catch A Thief" famous blue dress

that had inspired this Grace Kelly barbie. (Oh i want to have this!)

My one favorite movie of her is Rear Window (1954) because of its interesting thrilling story.

with James Stewart

the famous black and white dress she wore in this movie

that had inspired this Rear Window Kelly Barbie

And the last movie she made before she became a princess High Society (1956). On where i could say she really had shown her own definition of class.

with Frank Sinatra

with Bing Crosby

I adore the set of clothes she wore in High Society, I mean these are from 50's, and you're still in style if you wear it now. Knowing it's not that easy to buy it in boutiques nowadays.

swimsuit

gown

white dress

casual

 

I wasn't just captivated by her classic beauty and timeless taste, but mostly of her undisputed poise, impeccable social manners and the charitable nature is what i admire about her the most.

maybe it wasn’t yet obvious that I’m inspired by her. But I REALLY AM, you’ll see. =)